Thursday, October 6, 2011
What Am I Afraid Of?
(Edited to Add: I am NOT a blogger or a writer. I started not to put this here because of that reason, but then I determined that those were excuses to cover up fear;-).................
So....... the kids and I were having a conversation (prompted by discussions of Halloween and the State Fair) about why people love to be frightened. We talked about how they got a kick out of hiding behind the door when Dad is coming in from work and jumping out to scare him. We talked about spook houses (I don’t know how they know so much about these, as they have never been to one???). Anyway, we talked about the free-fall ride (and others) at the fair. Everyone had the general agreement that we, as people, tend to like being scared. It’s scary for a moment, but when you “come around” you laugh and think it’s great.
Well, the conversation we had was just trivial, of course. But later I began to dwell on this word --FEAR. Why is it that we are so drawn to it? The stuff with the kids involved being drawn to fear for entertainment purposes. But when I really thought about it, fear draws us in to some areas that it really is definitely NOT for entertainment purposes.
When I examine the things I do day to day. How much am I driven by fear? Not consciously, of course. After all, I do things because I want to and I really don’t care what others think, right?!?! But seriously, if I am completely honest with myself, I probably do most things (particularly parenting) out of fear of something. That something may vary from situation to situation, but….still fear.
I like to think I am passed the whole caring what other people think. When I examine decisions I make though, I see that this is not always true. But what I am noticing more and more, is that I am making too many decisions with fear of what *I* think. Do I fear myself? Not really, I guess. What I fear is (perceived) reality. That probably doesn’t make any sense. What I mean is that I do (or don’t do) a lot of things based on what I think will (or will not) result. My fears have shifted from being afraid of what people will think to my perceptions of “if….then….” scenarios. It’s still fear. Fear of the known or fear of the unknown. Still fear.
Of course I know its wrong to do anything out of fear of ANYTHING other than the Lord. I know all the “Christian” answers about fear and how Satan and sin is the culprit, if we trust God enough, we will have no fear, yadee yadah. But as I thought about it, the kids are really right. We are drawn to fear. Plain and simple. We don’t mean to be. It’s just where our (perceived) comfort is. If we didn’t use some type of fear to guide us, we would feel flippant about our choices. Just something to think about.
……..Father, help me to be drawn to You. Not fear. You are all that matters. I know that I know that I know this. Help me to live in that place. The fun and rides of fear may have its place in playful endeavors, but not in my relationships, whether that be with my kids and how I lead them, or my friendships and how I pursue and cultivate them, or even with myself and how I make simple day to day choices. May I be drawn to You and only you…….
So....... the kids and I were having a conversation (prompted by discussions of Halloween and the State Fair) about why people love to be frightened. We talked about how they got a kick out of hiding behind the door when Dad is coming in from work and jumping out to scare him. We talked about spook houses (I don’t know how they know so much about these, as they have never been to one???). Anyway, we talked about the free-fall ride (and others) at the fair. Everyone had the general agreement that we, as people, tend to like being scared. It’s scary for a moment, but when you “come around” you laugh and think it’s great.
Well, the conversation we had was just trivial, of course. But later I began to dwell on this word --FEAR. Why is it that we are so drawn to it? The stuff with the kids involved being drawn to fear for entertainment purposes. But when I really thought about it, fear draws us in to some areas that it really is definitely NOT for entertainment purposes.
When I examine the things I do day to day. How much am I driven by fear? Not consciously, of course. After all, I do things because I want to and I really don’t care what others think, right?!?! But seriously, if I am completely honest with myself, I probably do most things (particularly parenting) out of fear of something. That something may vary from situation to situation, but….still fear.
I like to think I am passed the whole caring what other people think. When I examine decisions I make though, I see that this is not always true. But what I am noticing more and more, is that I am making too many decisions with fear of what *I* think. Do I fear myself? Not really, I guess. What I fear is (perceived) reality. That probably doesn’t make any sense. What I mean is that I do (or don’t do) a lot of things based on what I think will (or will not) result. My fears have shifted from being afraid of what people will think to my perceptions of “if….then….” scenarios. It’s still fear. Fear of the known or fear of the unknown. Still fear.
Of course I know its wrong to do anything out of fear of ANYTHING other than the Lord. I know all the “Christian” answers about fear and how Satan and sin is the culprit, if we trust God enough, we will have no fear, yadee yadah. But as I thought about it, the kids are really right. We are drawn to fear. Plain and simple. We don’t mean to be. It’s just where our (perceived) comfort is. If we didn’t use some type of fear to guide us, we would feel flippant about our choices. Just something to think about.
……..Father, help me to be drawn to You. Not fear. You are all that matters. I know that I know that I know this. Help me to live in that place. The fun and rides of fear may have its place in playful endeavors, but not in my relationships, whether that be with my kids and how I lead them, or my friendships and how I pursue and cultivate them, or even with myself and how I make simple day to day choices. May I be drawn to You and only you…….
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Reinventing the Wheel (This one is an All-Skate)
I've been doing this homeschooling thing for a while now. The Internet was new and slow when I started. Now, it is not so new, and I am the slow one. One of the really nice changes has been the vast (overwhelming?) amount of information and resources that are available on any kind of homeschooling topic that you can imagine. I am almost constantly discovering new things, or rediscovering old goodies. Such as:
--Liberty's Kids (DVD series)--my oldest son watched most of the episodes on PBS when he was younger, and liked it well enough then. It was a good filler for when I needed some hands-on time with my other kids. However, he is studying American History this year, so we (OK, I) decided to check it out again. I am so impressed with how historically accurate it is, and how it helps him remember the details. He told me today that he thought he would be bored with it (since it is a cartoon), but that he is not. (That may just be because he would much rather watch TV than read an assignment). The complete series (40 episodes) is available at Netflix on demand.
--Drive Thru History (DVD series) -- I just discovered this a few months ago, and don't know how I missed it earlier. There are two series--Ancient History and American History--and they are so entertaining and well done. My kids love the format and the host (think Alton Brown and Good Eats). The library has a few episodes, but Netflix does not. The TBN channel is currently airing weekly episodes from the American History series.
--Khan Academy -- an online video service that offers over 24,000 educational videos. FOR FREE. I watched several today for the first time, and was impressed with the content and quality. They do seem to be more geared toward middle/high school students, with topics like Algebra and Chemistry.
OK, so what about you? What amazing resources do you use or know of that you can pass along? Don't assume that everyone knows about them already, either. You may be able to point someone in just the direction they need to be heading toward today.
Ready? Set? Comment...
--Liberty's Kids (DVD series)--my oldest son watched most of the episodes on PBS when he was younger, and liked it well enough then. It was a good filler for when I needed some hands-on time with my other kids. However, he is studying American History this year, so we (OK, I) decided to check it out again. I am so impressed with how historically accurate it is, and how it helps him remember the details. He told me today that he thought he would be bored with it (since it is a cartoon), but that he is not. (That may just be because he would much rather watch TV than read an assignment). The complete series (40 episodes) is available at Netflix on demand.
--Drive Thru History (DVD series) -- I just discovered this a few months ago, and don't know how I missed it earlier. There are two series--Ancient History and American History--and they are so entertaining and well done. My kids love the format and the host (think Alton Brown and Good Eats). The library has a few episodes, but Netflix does not. The TBN channel is currently airing weekly episodes from the American History series.
--Khan Academy -- an online video service that offers over 24,000 educational videos. FOR FREE. I watched several today for the first time, and was impressed with the content and quality. They do seem to be more geared toward middle/high school students, with topics like Algebra and Chemistry.
OK, so what about you? What amazing resources do you use or know of that you can pass along? Don't assume that everyone knows about them already, either. You may be able to point someone in just the direction they need to be heading toward today.
Ready? Set? Comment...
He's Still Working on Me...
Did you ever sing this song when you were little?
He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be-e.
He's still working on me.
I found myself singing that song in my head yesterday as I was listening to our amazing field trip presenter, Mr. Collier, speak to some of our art co-op students. He was explaining that even though he may spend hours shaping and molding the clay, his pottery isn't complete until it is placed in the kiln. The fire. For a really long time. In fact, if that part of the process is not done, then the pottery will eventually fall apart. Useless.
It wasn't new information to me, but it served as a great reminder that things aren't always supposed to be easy. In fact, many of the best things only become good, and right, and useful, when they are put through the fire. Tried. Tested. Things like parenting, and teaching, and training our children. Those things don't end. We aren't ever 'done', but we are refined. Made fine again, so to speak.
I thank God (literally) that He is so loving and patient. He knows how much my family needs His example and influence. He sure knows that there are way too many times that they aren't seeing that in me.
But, hey. He's not done with me yet. Right?
Photo source: www.destrier.hubpages.com
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